Sunday, December 16, 2007

The one I wish I didn't have to write


I have spent the last month trying to avoid writing about this. Whether that is because I am still in denial and writing about it makes it more real, or whether I am trying to move on, I don't know. But today marks the one month anniversary of Crista Beth Thomas' death so today it must be.


Crista was my step sister in law. She was Ryan's step sister. Pat and Leah (Crista's mom) married just a month after Ryan and I got married. Crista was in high school then. I don't remember the first time I met her, but my first real memory of her was at my wedding. Crista was beautiful. She and Leah looked more like sisters than mother daughter. They both had beautiful blonde hair and big blue eyes. Crista had an amazing energy and a pulsating need to be loved and wanted. She couldn't wait to have 3 brothers, as she was an only child.


It was fun to watch Crista grow up through the last 7 years. While we didn't get to see her very often, she was always warm, friendly and fun whenever we were around her.


The last time we hung out with Crista she and her boyfriend took us to one of the Indian Casinos in Palm Desert. We had a blast. She even babysat my kids once and they adored her.


Crista was killed in a car accident on November 16th. It was one of those senseless accidents that makes you soo angry. She, she was speeding and lost control of her car. She wasn't wearing her seatbelt and was ejected as the car rolled. Luckily, the Drs said she was brain dead on impact so there was no pain. In all of this tragedy, that is such a relief. Leah and Pat made the agonizing, but heroic decision to donate Crista's organs.


I got the call while I was at my friend Jenn' s house for our weekly taquito and margarita Friday night. I was in the kitchen, just finishing up making the first batch of margaritas, when my cell rang. I knew the minute Pat started speaking that something was wrong. When he said what had happened I sank to the floor crying. My first thoughts were for Leah. Leah and Crista were so close and she was Leah's only child. I could not imagine the devastation this would cause her. I hated having to tell Ryan.


The weekend we were in La Quinta for the funeral felt unreal. Ryan was a pallbearer so I sat with the kids and my niece Dakota during the service. I sat behind Leah and my heart was breaking for her. When they brought out Crista's casket, her shoulders were shaking. That was the only time during the weekend that I saw her breakdown. Leah was so strong when she was in public but I knew in private she was a wreck, as she should have been.


I don't know why Crista's death has affected me so much. I was not close to her, and didn't get to see her often enough. I really think the reason it has grieved me so is because I am imagining this loss for Leah. Having lost a daughter myself (though circumstances were so completely different as my daughter, Emerson, was stillborn) I can put myself in her shoes a little bit. My heart is so broken for her loss. I don't know how else to put it.


Crista, we will always miss, remember and love you. Fly high!!


5 comments:

Anonymous said...

My name is Dawn I am Crista's auntie from England my brother Glen was crista's dad.

The date is 15th May and as I am writing this i cant stop crying.

Crista was a loving person I have known her since she was 3 years old, she was my bridesmaid and when she came to England she loved it hear and we loved seeing her.

Me and my sister Mandy and my brother-in-law Kevin came to Crista's funeral to show our respects to crista and Leah but especial my brother who loved Crista so much.

We are thinking of Crista all the time especialy her Nan.

We love you and miss you
The Bishop Family
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Anonymous said...

My name is Angelina Tervo, and I am Crista's child hood best friend. Her mom and grandparent's lived right next door to me where I lived with my grandparents on a horse ranch. I have been searching for Crista for years as I haven't seen her since her grandparent's moved when we were teenagers. Her and I kept in touch for a long time when she moved down to southern California but eventually lost touch. I happened to google her name today as I still always think about her and am terrified and heartbroken to read this. Please contact me if you can.

Angelina Tervo
angelinatervo@hotmail.com

Anonymous said...

Hi my name is Lilia and I went to beauty school with Crista and I also worked with her at J.Russell for about 4 months...I just found out this morning that she had passed away, and even though her and I lost touch through out the years, I'm sitting here in shock and disbelief.Im heart broken, specialy because i just found out and none our mutual friends called to tell me anything...I wish I would of picked up the phone to call her the times she came to mind...But I would always put it off...Thanks for the beautiful blog u posted.

Diana Roman-wackett said...

I am Crista friend I remember when I met her 2004 and she had borrowed her step dads truck... Today date is a date I always dread on occasion I have seen her late boyfriend when she passed... When Crista passed I was pregnant and have named my daughter after her...I am glad to see that you have written about her 4 yrs have gone by and it isn't easy .... She was a wonderful person and always the life of the party's especially when we made trips to Parker, and Havasu ... When she went to the race track with me to watch me race in Fontana she was my biggest fan and supporter.

Diana Roman-wackett said...

I am Crista friend I remember when I met her 2004 and she had borrowed her step dads truck... Today date is a date I always dread on occasion I have seen her late boyfriend when she passed... When Crista passed I was pregnant and have named my daughter after her...I am glad to see that you have written about her 4 yrs have gone by and it isn't easy .... She was a wonderful person and always the life of the party's especially when we made trips to Parker, and Havasu ... When she went to the race track with me to watch me race in Fontana she was my biggest fan and supporter.